Saturday, March 11, 2006

"D" Lister Becomes an "A" for Animation

Raz G., former rap singer turned actor, has signed a 3 series deal with WorldShow Entertainment to bring his experience making poorly selling rap recordings and straight-to-video cop movies to the animated small screen.

Shannon Tula, producer at WSE had this to say:
"We feel that Raz G. has the urban feel that will help WSE connect with today's hip youth. Sure, we have people here who have worked for us for years, who understand the animation process, and have the ability to make shows that would use their budget wisely for maximum impact. But at the end of the day...I always liked that song 'Get Ya Booty Out'"

"Man, it sure is nice to come around here and be treated the way I'm supposed to, you know what I'm saying?" said Mr. G. "After I was dumped by the record label, and ended up playin' 'thug number 2' in 'Cop Heat part 5' or some other piece of crap where I run around waving a gun, I felt pretty low. Outside- I'm just another out of work actor. I come in here, and I got 50 people tryin' to make all my ideas come to life."

What are those ideas? Raz G. continued.

"Show #1: me in school. Kids will get to see where I came up, you know what I'm saying? There will be like, me... and my friend, and like we got like 2 girlfriends each, you know what I'm saying? Plus a couple of goofy looking white dudes. For comedy. I'm gonna call it "Raz-Matazz" or "Raz-zle Dazzle" or some kinda s--t. You know what I'm saying?

Show #2: me in space, or something. Gonna be fighting monsters, saving bitches, you know?

Show #3: S--t, I don't know. Cop?

Director John Sorrencia looks enthusiastic.
"I told my daughter that daddy would be directing Raz G.'s new show. She said the cutest thing. She said, "Daddy, is he as famous as Spongebob?" Ha ha. Well, I had to admit that I didn't know. I'd never heard of him, but he's probably really famous. I'm sure to have 'street-cred' with the 'homies' after this show is wrapped, eh?"

Beginning his adventure in animation, Raz G. looks thoughtful.

" I didn't never watch no cartoons coming up on the streets, you know what I'm saying? But I learned some stuff. Deals come up- and if you're smart, you take 'em."

Monday, March 06, 2006


Hi all! My little neighbor Shawn attended a focus group recently, concerning an upcoming show called "OCD ROBOT", about an obsessive compulsive robot who lives in a crazy robot factory! Shawn knows about this blog, so he smuggled out one of the questionnaires! Now you, my faithful readers, will get an insider's view about how a show as groundbreaking as "OCD ROBOT" gets on the air!

Here it is, and Shawn, I owe you a big box of firecrackers for this one!


1. Do you like this show?

(__) YES
(__) no

2. Really?

(__) YES
(__) no

3. On a scale of 1 to 5, how would you rate OCD Robot?

1. Super
2. Great
3. The Best
4. Outstanding
5. Fantastic

4. Do you like "edgy" characters, with "attitude"?

5. Do sunglasses on a character make that character edgy?
(__) Yes
(__) Certainly

6. Which one of the following characters would you be most interested in seeing added to the show?

(__) An evil robot who looks like one of the good robots
(__) Darth Vader (please note that we cannot use Darth Vader in this show)
(__) An evil robot who looks like one of the good robots
(__) An evil hologram who thinks kids like you are stupid, and hangs out with an evil robot who looks like one of the good robots

7. Do you like the idea of OCD ROBOT being made in a video game if we were to give you a free copy?

(__) YES

8. Would you recommend to your parents that they buy you OCD ROBOT toothpaste, chewable vitamins, clothing, toys, posters, magazines, and snack crackers, using a loud shrill voice, and causing a scene until such items were purchased to appease you?

(__) YES
(__) I don’t understand the question, but sure.

9. In future epiodes, which OCD traits would you like the robot to have?

(__) Collects scraps of metal from robot factory floor, places them in a lineup in order of size.
(__) Flicks light switch off and on 10 times before entering a robot factory.
(__) Polishes outer metal shell in clockwise rotations, counting to 100.

10. After watching OCD ROBOT, do you have a comprehension of Obsessive Compulsive disorder, enough to, say, get a television production company a nice tax break for providing ‘education’?

(__) YES

11. Which new story ideas for future episodes of OCD ROBOT interest you the most?

(__) The characters stay at the robot factory and talk to each other.
(__) The characters work out low-key social issues, in the robot facory.
(__) The characters express how much they prefer not knowing details about their past.
(__) The characters converse about how they enjoy things never changing, and how interesting it is to stay in a robot factory, never venturing outside.
(__) Other (checking this box counts as a non-answer)

12. If we were to give you a thousand dollars, would you say that OCD ROBOT is the best show ever?

(__) YES
(__) no, but I’ll change my mind later

Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Cartoon Mashups That The 70's Forgot

WHEW! Coming up with an animated summertime blockbuster is hard work! That's the reason for no postings for a month. But there is one thing I had to talk about-


When I'm not pounding the keyboard plotting out my amazing film, I'm scouring Ebay for dubs of the "Cartoon Mashups That The 70's Forgot."

I was too little to have seen them in person at the time, but there's something so cool that speaks to me, when I look at these things now.

I get the impression that the studios had so many good ideas that it was hard to winnow concepts down! There were team-ups of characters from various shows, and combinations of genres that were mind boggling!

For instance, one of my favorite 70's mashups was "Go-Go Goose and The Kount"- the plot was amazingly simple:
Go-Go Goose, a hippie cartoon goose in the year 2525, unlocks a vault that contains the coffin of Count Dracula! They join a rock band and solve mysteries together. Think that was "groovy"? Season Two introduced "Dracula Jr. and the Henchlings" to the cast, along with "FishFace and Fin", a "Fonzie"-type shark and his 'yes-man' sidekick. The combination of wacky slapstick and bone-chilling horror is something the networks would never air nowadays, the cowards.

Or how about "The Fattest Gun The West"- where Wild Bill Hickock uncovers a genie who zaps him into the 70's, where he teams up with Race Rammer, a race car driver? The spell the genie put on Wild Bill that made him balloon up to 800 pounds whenever he got angry was hilarious- but not so hilarious when Race Rammer was trying to speed away from savage tiger-men in a race car! They join a rock band and solve mysteries together.

One of the best though, was "Sprightly BeLightly and the Disco Choppers". Three live action 'kangaroos' (actually actors in costumes) would look into their 'Story-Scope' machine...and then the scene would turn animated as we shift to the story of Sprightly BeLightly- a kind magical imp from the faerie dimension, who works as a Private Investigator with the Disco Choppers; three roller-boogie girls who know Kung-Fu! They join a Disco band and solve mysteries together. The fact that this was set underwater on Mars in the future was just icing on the cake!
Sure, there were a lot of scenes with the gang climbing in and out of airlocks, but it was Sprightly's sidekick, Leprechaun John, who brought the magic home. The way he would mistakenly trip the bad guys while jealously hoarding his pot of gold from the Disco Choppers was just priceless!
Whenever Sprightly would hiccup, it forced whoever heard her do it to tell the truth.
The Disco Choppers secret identities were as rollerskating waitresses at a "Dive-In" restaurant. How many times did I see those feisty Choppers stand up to the ribbing of local motorcycle tough "Nasty Malasty" by pouring a chocolate seaweed malted over his head? It never gets old!!!

The best part was at the end, when they would recap the day's adventure with a disco music video-and this was years before MTV!

The 70's must have been a time of limitless imagination.